For the most part problems where settled and such so the grounding have been lifted in the sprit of the holidays and such so at least i'll have something to do over break. Also sorry for the long bit of mental dribble of the last journal.

Well after losing my Ipod and trying to gain money I am now grounded for a month no tv no pc no friend until jan 18th so my chirstmas is fucked I will not be able to afford anything I can not check on commissions after this and will be off of here for bit I am getting to the point were if it gets any worse I am going off the edge I have lost my music, piece of mind, freedom, holidays, relaxation, and I am dreppresed as ever and I need out I don't when I be back sooner or later or if ever mabye I'll fanish into nothing like all my wishes or my mind will spill out on to the floor to show its sickness or I'll just be a husk I can not fight no more and need out need help for if not will walk to the sea and let the waves engulf me and vansih amoung the stars and watch the mournfull cries of purple and see the mouring of the fish for the distance of the stars and how the stars jest in the place amoung the clouds with there freedom and it will all just crack and the broken frame will be left to hold it up but I would but the fear of what is next and dein reich ist vorbei and lonely streets and empty pavment are on horizion as the sky and the ground will forever be seprate and with to hold hand in hand but I have all the buttons in the end and they will all run at the sight and watch the paint on the wall disengrate around me and the screaming eyes oh how the smell the sickly serandes of time and dust to water and to the dead were it all flows forever and every wish to flee on the back of a large possum and flow the lovely sound to etenity and see how true my minds jouney it with the delict forgoten gifts and will soak in water and I too will melt aways and scream to all the flowers from the ground and they wish for me etenal company with them and root in and turn into a tree with no worries except for the nature of fire were hurts and heals but forevery in balance of the bedlamand the drip drip drip that comes from the stone forever parched of water but flowing and drowning were the bird drop more rocks to the sea and the cats walk the wall I I lay atherized to watch the madness run by and my heart bleeds for one and I can never tell but always want as the inner voice nows what I want and keeps me from crumbling like a house of card where the have been stacked harshly but in times of need I am forsaken and my true mind is like posion where only now it is to be seen and feared and my no ones ears bleed at my message to the neither world and aether space and forever bouncing on the walls of the asslum and may I never be missed and always forgotten as it all comes out my ears and spatters on to paper which wished to disexsit for what it is surface to I never want to leave but always get away and ist dein wlads delima of being in a place of belonging and always wanting to leave but forsakenment hurts and lonlyness cry and the moon will sweep me up and hold me close since I am in her sway and never flowed the messages of the sun for it will burn me with its angry wrath while the stars are ever distant from me I stand on the brink and look at the edge of the world and is where all starts if any reads I apolgize for your ears bleeding an I am always sorry for my half hearted care as my mind empties on the keys which will need to be washed after ward but I look back to my old sickly pleasures and find new ones which hurt just as much but will the one I haVE COME TO SICKLY LOVE stand on horizon with me and ask me who she is since I want to tell but am fearful of the results and mabye we will hold hands some day together for I do and have come to love you with odd desires and you may be my desiease or dein cure if you ever want me back and could care for such a self hating person and I will always disappere when you need me and be there when you hate me and I will share my abyss which is deep enough to go for a swim in the dark waters and you will see what I am and what I lack to give and keep but heart is neigh a comdity and sense is just a peception and I will stand on the edge if you ever request me and to my compaions full of fire your nature will always be what I need the most when I want it least there are always thing I don't want when I need them and maby the fish will have a place in the stars and the sun will cool it wrath to me and my wounds will heel but I must go to catch my mind and find reality on the map once again

Well since I am need of money and such will open commisions and open a pay paypal to go with it soon
The Prices most likly will be
15$ for full body colored with background
10$ for full body colored
7$ for full body lined
5$ For full body sketched
7$ For head(bust) colored
5$ For head lined
8$ For chibis full body colored
And anything else will name when asked
I am also working on an etsy to sell some of my stuff on

This sucks so much I lost my Ipod was walking home from hobbylobby to pick up a copic marker and on the last bit like less than a block from home I asked my brother to hold my jacket which it was in the breast pocket of my coat and I checked in the morning and it was gone left school to look and no were to be found put up a sign and asked the neighbors.
Knowing my luck it gone for fucking good so I need to make as much money as I can get to replace it for cheap which means I going to try to set up commisions and sell some of my jewrly on etsy
This is really important music and being able to escape with that has kept me from having several breakdowns and so need to get that taken care of quickly